Currently:
- Feeling: uhhh, cranky
- Listening to: Moby - Where you end
- Thinking about: ?
- Reading: Interesting times by Terry Pratchett
- Counting numbered days: 118
I don’t know what’s up with me. I’ve been so cranky the last few days! And what’s more disturbing is that it’s not the PMS this time. I feel I need a major change, but I don’t know what. And my hair is also facing a middle-length crisis. 
Don’t know what to do.
The bad part is that I argue a lot with Cata. And I know it’s not fair. But it seems that each and every day he has to say/do something that makes me go crazy! And of course I have this ‘strategy’ all made up: I ignore him. And then he starts and apologises and complains, which makes me angrier! Uh, why can’t he just leave me alone till I’m in a better mood? Why does he always have to apologies even if it’s not his fault? And today he told me that he prefers to keep all his anger for him, to enter a depression and suffer alone than to be mad at me. Now that’s stupid! Why the heck does he do that? He should yell at me, he should tell me everything that he doesn’t like about me… it’s not even touching that he suffers alone. I’ve told him before that we’re a couple and we should act like a couple; it’s not about me or him; it’s about US.
Distance, distance, distance… I hate this word. It’s officially on my ‘I hate this word’ list. Things would have been easier and normal if it hadn’t been for this bloody distance. Yeah, now I see only the bad parts in this relationship. Like: what are WE going to do this summer? He told me he’s going to some concerts which are taking place this July and I told him that I’m going to Rosia Montana with my friends *don’t know if I am going to make it, cause I had another major fight with Radu last week :|*, but we never said a word about OUR summer plans. Guess we’ll just have some quality time on some bench in the park. *Barfing sound!!!!* God, he loves me so much, but he doesn’t know how to love me. A friend suggested we go to the seaside. /:) Come on, it’s Cata we’re talking about here! You have to drag or push him to do something. He is so easily pleased! Well, I’m not! If he thinks that a perfect summer would be one spent on a bench in the park, well, I have news for you, dude: for me it’s not!!! I can hardly wait to finish with my exams, to know I got in at university and then I don’t want to spend another day in Baia Mare. I don’t want to go abroad. I simply want to go to the seaside and then to Rosia Montana and maybe spend a few days in Bucharest. I’m sure my mum’s going to give me as much money as I want provided I get in at university. And money is not a problem for him. But I know that he won’t like the idea. Noooo, he’s too precious and fancy for this kind of fun!
The same thing happened with the ice cream. There’s a cosy ice-cream shop in BM, where they serve homemade ice cream. It’s the best in town! There’s always a huge queue at the shop, but it’s worth waiting! And I told him that, that ice cream is one of my obsessions and that I could hardly wait for the place to open! *it’s open only during the summer* And when it finally open, guess what? He didn’t eat. Ok, let’s admit he wasn’t in the mood for ice cream, but he didn’t want to taste it!!! Come on!!! He wouldn’t have died if he had tasted it! I felt like crap. Yeah, there’s a thing that I love and he acts all fancy and precious about it, like I was eating I don’t know what disgusting thing. Uh, he simply drives me mad when he does that!
On another topic. My mum’s coming back from Greece today. Her plane lands at the airport in Cluj and my father goes to pick her up from there. He asked me if I wanted to go with him but I said no. Guess why? Cause I didn’t want to be in Cluj and not see Cata. My father only goes at the airport, picks my mum and comes back home. He doesn’t stay in Cluj. So what was the point of me being in Cluj if I couldn’t see him or My Maria? Now I regret not going with my father in Cluj. 
I think my mum will be upset not to see me at the airport. I’m stupid, I know! Geee, yeah, that was a very good reason not to go and meet my mum at the airport. I feel like I placed him above my mum. And that sucks! Cause I own everything I know/am to my mum and she’s the one I love the most in this world, not him! So this is just another reason for me being cranky.
The least I can do is to study a little. But I’m not in the mood for that! I guess I just have to get in the proper mood and study. Yeah, I think I’ll do that.
As for you dude, I really don’t know what makes you tick. God, you’re a freak! And it’s not funny anymore. I just don’t understand you.
Anyways, hope you’ll miss me, cause I’ll surely miss you. Take good care of yourselves and wish me luck!
