Bleah
Don’t feel like doing anything. It’s been a horrible day. It’s raining, actually is pouring, I’m coughing which means I got the flu and I should be writing essays and studying. Instead I’m staring at the computer, listening to uRMa and daydreaming about life in Bucharest.
I tried to do my homework for the German classes, but I got bored. Then I wanted to read something for History or Philosophy, but again, I abandoned that thought, too. My tummy hurts. This really isn’t one of my best days.
Yeah, yesterday I didn’t party as I thought I would. I just sat on a couch, drank 2 beers and talked with Maria. But, the problem is that I don’t have any money and I’ll have to stay home tonight. I don’t have anyone with whom to go out.
And why did he tell me he wanted to come with us (my friends and me) and then he sent a message and said ‘don’t be upset if I can’t make it’. Thanks a lot for making me feel like shit. And all my friends wanted to meet him and they kept asking ‘why isn’t he here?’. And I just shrugged my shoulders. Hey, there are people more important than me, I’m just whatever. And he doesn’t even realise how mad I am at him! Grrr… he hurt my feelings. 
And it’s not only that. I usually don’t listen to advice concerning love and feelings, but my friends are very important to me and I cannot erase Mihai’s words from last night: ‘If he didn’t come, it means that you’re not that important to him’. It hurt. I wanted to hear them saying ‘gee, don’t worry, he must have a very good reason for not coming’ or ‘come on, you know he cares’. The fact is that I don’t know that. Maybe it’s all my imagination.
Why do I really care??? Because of those stupid butterflies? Damn them! And I really don’t want to hear my mum preaching: ‘I told you not to get involved in a new relationship. You know how important this year is for you and for your future. Don’t do anything stupid’. Dude, I know!!! I want to go to university, trust me, I really do! And I’m learning and I’m doing my best, but give me a break! I cannot tell my heart: ‘stupid heart, don’t like him anymore’ and I cannot command my mind not to think of him. It would be great if I could, though.
Well, it look like I’m the crazy one and I have issues. SO what? You should have come!!! Or at least you should have said from the beginning that you didn’t wanna come!!! But hey, tomorrow’s another day. Maybe the rain will stop falling, maybe I will manage to learn something, and maybe I’ll feel better. Yeah, definitely tomorrow’s gonna be different.
Posted by in 14:28:27
I”m sorry to say it but it’’s not going to get much easier the older you get either. maybe he had a good reason, maybe he doesn”t care as much as you do, only time will tell. either way you have to keep sight of what really is important to you at the present and a man who doesn”t count you as one of the most important things to him shouldn”t be treated as one of the most important things to you.
p.s. as much as you may hate it, your mum is only doing her best..
Take it easy Ionuca, slow down a little, don”t push anything on anyone. Let the time tell what the future holds for you.
don”t worry about it…I”m sure he had a good reason for not coming.
Don”t be upset! You don”t deserve to be like this, treated like "you are not that important", maybe he is afraid or maybe he is acting weird ”cause it’’s a new begining for both of you guys
Chear up, this are the worst problems I wish for you to have. Just be glad he exists, he cares for you just as much as you care for him. Live your life and listen to your friends but don”t let them manipulate your feelings and your opinions about the person you care a lot…
your blog is very nice !