Rainbow child

We used to be a great nation, we used to have great kings and very intelligent people that made us known all around the globe, and now we’re struggling to be accepted in U.E. We almost beg them to accept us. What a shame! It almost makes me cry…

We are the ancestors of the Romans and of the Daci, the first inhabitants of this country. We have Latin blood and the Romans conquered us only after a second war. They were so amazed by our ancestors love for the country and for they bravery that a column had been erected in Rome to commemorate those qualities. And so the Romanians were born.

In the 15th century king Stephan the Great fought against the Turks and defeated them, preventing Orthodoxy to be replaced by the their religion. And we’ve always been a religious nation. The beautiful monasteries from all over our country prove that.

We never wanted to conquer other nations or land. We always stood in the borders of our own country and defeated them. That’s what Romanians had done over a period of many centuries: defeated their country, religion, traditions and families.

But eventually, Transylvania was occupied by Austro-Hungarians and the other two parts of the country by the Turks. In 1918, after the First World War the 3 countries were reunited again. From 1866 until December 1947 the men from the Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen family were our kings. Even though they were not Romanians but Germans, they acted like true Romanians and put the country first, not their relatives. In 1947 king Mihai was forced by the bloody communists to abdicate and was sent to exile along with all the royal family.

1947 is the beginning of the Romania’s decline. Until 1989 we were a communist country. And that really affected our economy and our thinking. But in 1989 the people couldn’t take it anymore and started to protest in the streets. This lead to several deaths because our “president” ordered the army to shot the crowd. Thank God they were not intimidated, and finally caught the bloody bastard and his wife and shot them. Since then we’re a democratic country.

To be hones, I really hate the people that took control over the country in 1989 because they were raised and brought up with the same communist ideas and the country didn’t progress almost at all since then (mentally speaking). I really wish king Mihai would have been let to come back in the country and be our king again. I hate all our presidents because every one of them was a corrupted man (oh well, I have to admit, that our actual president is different). If we had had our king, everything would have been different.

Today I cried… I sometimes hate myself for being so easily influenced. And today my best friend sent me a song and said, “this is specially for you…and I mean every little word”. And when I listened to it I started crying…

And when I remember that I judged her that I thought her net pals were more important than I am to her… Oh, my Maria, please forgive my foolishness! I’m not worthy of our friendship; I’m not worthy of any friendship!

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you… (The Pretenders - I’ll stand by you)

I don’t know where to begin, cause I have a lots on my mind that I want to share with you all.

Yesterday I got back from Rosia Montana. It was GREAT! I can’t describe all the beauty that lies between those hills. It’s a piece of heaven there! But the pictures that I’ll put in the Rosia Montana section, will give you a clue about how marvellous that place really is.

The concerts and the camping places were in Old Rosia, a place lost between hills and valleys. From up there you could see the new town and the surrounding areas. All was beautiful and breath taking until your eyes rested in two destroyed hills. Everyday at 14.20 sharp there was an explosion and little by little those hills have become working areas for the “Rosia Montana Gold Corporation”. They spoiled all the beauty of the place! They have the colour of mud with bulldozers on them, with roads and with a scent of what will become of ALL Rosia Montana if our politicians would let the Canadians put their plans into action.

Many villagers came up there and it almost made me cry seeing the gratitude in their eyes. I mean, a bunch o kids and teenagers care about their faith and traditions, and the people who really should protect them, don’t give a damn. We were born out of those peasants and now we want to kill them. Without them we have no identity as a nation. The people living in villages are the only ones that wear the traditional clothes, sing the old and almost forgotten songs of our ancestors, and still tell the popular ballads. And we want to destroy their homes, churches, and lives. No, I, and all the ones that think and feel like me, won’t let this happen.

That’s the reason we went to Rosia Montana, that’s the reason we were a part of FanFest. And let me tell you, being part of that made me feel important and made me think of my children and grandchildren that I’ll have. They’ll still enjoy the Romanian traditions and they’ll still be able to see the same places as I saw if our protest is heard. And I prey to God that this will happen!

The thing that mostly marked me was a plate that said, “This is property of Rosia Montana Gold Corporation”. This plate was found on all the houses those bloody Canadians bought. When we went along the main road we could see those houses that were empty and a apocalyptic image appeared before my eyes: all the houses from Rosia Montana having the same death plate on them, and with a big boom the village being destroyed and the Canadians laughing and drinking champagne. But my heart filled with joy and my eyes with tears when I saw another plate on some other houses that said, ” This property is NOT for sale”. Thank God there are still some people left in that village to whom money means nothing and who don’t want to sell their souls and their traditions.

Many journalists were present there along with many people from different TV channels. And people from Hungary and Germany protested with us. It’s a shame that we got here in the first place but I really hope that this nonsense will come to an end and the 14.20 explosions will stop once and for all in the quiet village of Rosia Montana.

This country is NOT for sale!!!

I’ve always been under the moon spell. I just love to stare at a full moon. I sometimes wonder what’s the thing that attracts me so much, why do I love with such a passion that cold, lifeless planet.

Many nights I just sit in my rocking chair, in front of the window and admire the beauty of the moon. And I sometimes cry. Yes, I do. There’s simply so much beauty in it that it makes me cry. It’s like I can’t cope  with it…

Sometimes the sky is cloudy. Those are my favourite nights. The clouds and the moon making love like two passionate lovers. At first, the clouds gently embrace the moon… then slowly take over it… and they spend only a few seconds lost in their embrace, but it’s the purest and the most sincere embrace I’ve ever seen.

Other times I picture the moon metamorphosed in a man. An enigmatic figure, made out of fog and with the same pale colour as the moon itself. And this man would enter into my room and the whole room would get cold and I’d start to tremble. He’d then approach and embracing me, would give me the kiss of death and immortality. Wolves would howl a marital song, as he’d take me out of there and into his forever-lasting kingdom. As his wife I would know all the world’s secrets, I would know everything because I’d be everything!

To marry the moon…to be immortal… to know all… to still believe in dreams…

“It’s better to have loved and suffered than not to have loved at all”

And I have loved and I have suffered. I loved him for 2 years and a half. And he couldn’t have cared less. And Goddamn, I still care about him!!! I don’t wanna be with him again but there’s something inside me that just doesn’t want to let go of his memory.

I miss his hugs so very much… every time he hold me in his arms I just felt that nothing wrong could happen to me. It’s just so hard for me to describe what I felt when I was with him, and the way he was. His full lips, his warm mouth, and his arms around me… nothing can compare to them. My first true love.

At a New Year’s party we were together. It was just a one-night stand, and being drunk I was with another guy. Yeah, I knew he liked me but I wasn’t sure what I felt for him. So, a “friend” told him that I actually didn’t like him and that I liked that other guy. He was so angry with me that he didn’t speak to me a whole year. We were classmates and seeing him so angry made me fell so damn bad! He didn’t even say “hi” when he saw me on the street. The bad part was that I had fallen in love with him… a guy that almost hated me. ‘Cause I’m not sure that he didn’t hate even my name in that period.

But months passed and we talked on the net once and he said he had grown up and that he had forgotten my stupid mistake. In that moment I was the happiest girl in the world!!! And of course, a fest came up and we got to be together. It was the happiest week of my life. The best time ever… I thought it will never end, but…

All fell apart… His friends nagged him cause they didn’t quite like me, so he dumped me. No remorse, no looking behind, no nothing. He didn’t have the guts to tell me in the face; my best friend told me that over the phone when I was on holiday with my parents. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried.

And then followed an year and a half of crying and saying “why aren’t I good enough for him?” and “why doesn’t he want me?” I saw him everyday at school. I knew he was behind me, maybe thinking about me, but most likely not even giving a damn, but still, so close and in the same time so far from me.

I was so furious that I couldn’t do anything to change my feeling about him. Every time I was with I guy I wished it was him whom I kissed; it was he who hugged me. We never succeeded in having a normal classmates relationship. Each and every time I was put face to face with him I blushed, let my head down and thought only how much I love him and that he doesn’t care. And if he wanted something from me I just couldn’t say NO. In fact, I never did tell him NO. I was his, entire, how could I have done such a thing?

But until I moved to another high school he never let me alone. He always bugged me on the net and said that he misses me and that he’s glad we’d been together and if I like we could be again together. Now how was I to refuse such an offer? And of course, being a dumb ass, and believing each and every lie he told me, I always ended in saying that I like him sooooo much, and that I’m only his and if he wants it, we’ll be together. But of course, the next day he would come up and tell me that, in fact, he likes another girl or that he just wants us to be friends. I mean, how could he do such a thing? I had feelings too… And this situation lasted more than 1 year and a half.

I asked him repeatedly to leave me alone, just as I had let him alone when he asked that of me, after the New Year’s party, even if that thing was damn hard for me to do. But no, he just popped in on my messenger and started talking, and asking questions and all that stuff… and I jut couldn’t take that anymore. I couldn’t love another guy, I couldn’t have a decent relationship ’cause of him… To tell the truth, I was sick and tired of that.

When I had the opportunity I moved to another college. I was great because I didn’t see him daily and he let me alone. But like I’ve said, I can’t forget those 2 years of crying and false hopes. But in the same time I can’t forget that magic week we were together. I don’t hold anything against him… I’m cool now about the situation, but I can’t stop wondering if he ever thinks of me, if he ever liked me, if he ever cared… did he? 

I wanna thank Kat for her wonderful thoughts and for her moral support. It feels really nice to see that someone in a far away land thinks about your problems and wishes you all the best. Thank you Kat for your kind wishes and for caring for our traditions!

Today is a big day. There’s a big fest coming up at the end of the month and I volunteered to put posters throughout the city and to inform as good as I could the people living in this quiet little mountain town about this event.

I’ve been waiting all summer for this fest. It’s more than just 2 nights of concerts and hay jumping, water fights and graffiti contests. The whole thing is going to be in the Apuseni Mountains in Rosia Montana, where the biggest gold ore from my country is. Only the Romans have exploited those ores and since then they have been let alone.

But now, your great and wonderful Members of the Parliament want to sell those mountains to some Canadians to exploit them. You have no idea what a beautiful place Rosia Montana is! It’s absolutely breath taking! And they want to sell your land, our graves, our traditions, and our souls!!! You know what’s going to be left behind if they succeed in their quest for gold? Mountains and mountains of waste. And do you know how much will the Romanian state receive from all this gold? 1%! And for that 1% they still want to sell us!

The process has already started. Those damned Canadians have bought several houses from the locals paying HUGE amounts of money for them. But there are still some survivors, some decent people to whom tradition and the place they live is more important than money. And they need our help.

More non-governmental organisations, GreenPeace, too, started marching against the selling of Rosia Montana. But that was not enough. They thought of realising a fest with this theme: Save Rosia Montana! And so, FanFest (HayFest) was created. Last year was only a night of concerts but still, 4,000 people were present. This year are going to be 2 nights of wild dancing and good music and the organisers expect between 10,000 and 15,000 people.

So, it’s pretty normal to be nervous and anxious when it comes to this. I hope we’ll do a great job with those posters and that many people from Baia Mare will come to the fest.

There are some pictures from Rosia Montana in my album if you want to see what the Government wants to sell.

SALVATI ROSIA MONTANA! SAVE ROSIA MONTANA!

I don’t want to be immortal; I don’t want to live forever. I want to live here and now. I wanna be the same old me but in the same time to be a different person. I want to break free from all rules, stereotypes and prejudices but I don’t want to let anarchy kill me. I want to live on a pink cloud, in a pink sky, in a pink life…

An endless field of grass and a deep blue sky above me… someone to hold my hand. We all have dreams and this is my dream: a summer with no end; a sun that shines forever just for me. To have the feeling that I’m immortal. To fly up in the sky along with faeris. To be forever young…